Yesterday, I made a comment that a virtual war is on . . . I know, virtual is an adjective that I should consider revising . . . but these are strange times that demand strange verbal solutions to problems, so virtual it is.
I could go on about why I would say this virtual war is on, but that would probably be taken as a matter of opinion with most of you, rather than a statement of fact. That’s OK; the less alarmism that’s out there, the better. But one day, you will see a small tear in the time/space continuum, and you will see the virtual war being waged around you. What will you do when that happens? Ignore it? Be depressed about it? It is best to be prepared now, don’t you think?
I don’t mean to alarm you, but if a virtual war was going on and you didn’t even know it, would you be upset? I mean, if a virtual war broke out, but there were no human casualties, is a war actually being waged? What if you were involved and don’t even know it? You were just a pawn. Are you ticked off yet?
These are philosophical arguments; arguments that began a long time ago. Some say they started with with Zeno of Elea in the 5th century BC, but since we have found a 500,000 year old spark plug made with a strange metal alloy that does not rust and we cannot duplicate, then I think Zeno was not the first to think deeply on this planet.
Here’s a small snippet of his wisdom . . .
Zeno’s arguments are perhaps the first examples of a method of proof called reductio ad absurdum, literally meaning to reduce to the absurd.
Zeno had an argument against motion. He said that each moment is an instance of everything being static. Nothing moves at that instant. Aristotle tried to make sense of it, and I have my own thoughts on that topic, but you would think I was mad, so I will keep my mouth shut. One day, I will speak to Agent Weebley on the subject, as I think he is where I am . . . but hey, this is not a venue for mind bending, is it?
I need to stay on topic. A virtual war is being waged, as we speak. Well actually, I am the only one speaking right now, so I guess this is a monologue.
I don’t wish to drone on and on, so here’s a video:
Search: terminator candy
Wow. I can imagine robots fighting robots. We send out the drones to attack a storehouse of opposing Arnolds hidden in the middle of the enemy’s desert. All drones and robots are made by the same global conglomerates, but each country “chips” their drones and robots for that extra boost of accuracy or power. They have faster drones, but they are less accurate as a result. Our drones are slower, but they never miss. We sneak up, under the radar net and drop a bunker buster on their Arnolds.
A bunch of mass produced Arnold parts scattered all over the place. A squealing cacophony of “I’ll be back” in various octaves and pitches, some with a varying crescendo or decrescendo and fading fast . . . the mess settles down to a fizzling electrical shorting sound as our drones circle above to assess the damage.
Our drones exit stage left as their drones become airborne, and their perimeter radar crew gets their pink slips. Someone has to be the scapegoat!
Their repair robots enter the scene to pick up the pieces. Their drone air support circles the area to protect the repair robots as they pick through the rubble looking for useable parts.
Our thumb jockeys back at Central Command get bonuses for a good day of killing.
Their accountants assess the damage to their economy.
But no-one was hurt. We’re past that now. With all our safety rules about wearing goggles while shooting a gun, or drilling a hole in a wall where you work . . .
. . . It’s just not safe to send our men to physical war anymore. It’s against worker’s compensation board rules, OSHA, NHS, and not to forget The Ministry of Cutting Yourself While Shaving (license fees are up this year due to the quintuple blade scam.)
Send in the drones and robots to attack the drones and robots.